Confessions of a Pessioptimist

I go from Hot, to Cold to Funny. Which am I today?

Monday, April 03, 2006

MJ Throwback: Don't Just Leave me Alone

You remember that song by MJ... that horrible... grammatically incorrect titled song "Don't Just leave me alone"..... I'm feeling some kinda way about that song right about now.

Lemme be a bit more specific.

Now, I admit, I have become a blog/website jumper. They just keep callin me man. I got these cheeeeseburgers mayne....lol

So I've joined these random sites that have blogs, I post and then I abandon them with posthaste. As evidenced by my dead blogs... R.I.P Xanga.... R.I.P. Yahoo 360...my blog at myspace is in a coma. Even just websites that I was a member, with my lil picture and my little cute information about myself... R.I.P. Facebook... R.I.P and GOOD Riddance BlackPlanet.... R.I.P. Hi-5.....

but seemingly, no matter where I have been, I still am not immune from RIDICULOUS private messages/instant messages.... most of them containing soliliquies on how beautiful I am and can I 'holla at a playa'.... Let's just IGNORE the fact that I am listed as married, and generally post pictures up with me and my husband....

por ejemplo:

From Myspace today:
From: prince
Date: Apr 3, 2006 10:55 AM Flag spam/abuse. [ ? ]
Subject: hey sexy
Body: pretty cant discribe how beautiful u are, u are one of a kind. how u doing today, just saw ur pic n i think u are a nice gurl n God took extra time wen he was creating u. well im Prince Asa by name from the Bronx NY. just wanna get to know u so if u dont mine halla back at me ok stay kool n keep sweet as ever been.


Are you f'n SERIOUS!!!! Someone please send him a 1 way ticket back to Zamunda.

Or this gem:
From: Jackqus

Date: Mar 31, 2006 8:49 AM Flag spam/abuse. [ ? ]
Subject: Just Because
Body: Just wanted to say that you look very sexy!!!






...and your point would be? Let us note additionally, that in all of my pictures I am fully clothed. For the women who post half naked pics of themselves, with their asses in the camera shakin it like they are making e-money, I can only imagine how many PMs you get...but I guess you're doing it for that purpose, huh.

Let us move on to the more high-brow (please catch the facetiousness) Hi-5:

Reply
Send to Trash

Back to Inbox

Report Spam

Block User
From Jason
To Amber
Date 2-18-2006 2:37 PM
Subject hello
Message
i would love to lay you on your stomach and lick your entire ass

How special is that? And raggedy. Sooooo Alice the Goon from Popeye wants to lick my ass. Special. THAT in itself, makes me feel special.

Let me note that this fool had sent me a PM before, and apparently didn't get the hint when he didn't get a response:




Reply
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Block User
From Jason
To Amber
Date 12-30-2005 8:51 PM
Subject wow, i think i love you
Message
you are a hottie

I am not a hottie. I KNOW how to cook my chicken, thank you kindly.


Reply
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Block User
From Mitch
To Amber
Date 10-20-2005 3:16 PM
Subject hi
Message
Hey what up tell me lot about you cause by looking arround i've seen your pic and i tell my self there are still wonderful american girls in Tennesse if you want to we could stay in touch.
waiting for your answer.

See ya

What is THIS shit! Obviously, Mitch is still waiting. Most likely, for his green card.

I have the sinking feeling that if I posted on any of these sites that I was married with 8 kids, i'd still get the obligatory "you're HOT, wanna get together?" private messages. WHY? There are PLENTY of low self-esteem having broads on these sites who flash their boobs for the camera, and try their best to post sexily for the camera, with it placed purposefully close to their vaginas.

Stay in your lane!

2 Comments:

Blogger Sin said...

omg.. this is the last thing YOU needed to own... i fear for the earths children

2:34 PM  
Blogger Erica Joy said...

jackqus?

jackus...

ahhh

jackass. he spelled his name wrong.

3:16 PM  

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